Archives for posts with tag: quotables

Miscellany Monday @ lowercase letters

+ quotables.  I realize that I haven’t posted quotables in a while, and they’ve been taking up space in the margins of my notes.

“People don’t become professors to teach about equality.  Teachers have an authoritarian mentality.  ‘I am the emperor of this room.  Try to screw with me and see how that works.'” – professor

“Maybe I should seed that in your minds.  You can go out and start a revolution.  But I don’t think it’ll work.  You know why?  Because you need credits to get a degree.” – same professor, on the French Revolution

“I don’t want to BS you.  I don’t know the answer to that question.” – professor

“The best way to win a war is to not lose.” – professor

“Sorry, boyhood is now illegal.  We have a drug for that.  It’s called Ritalin.” – professor

“We’re talking about where white men read newspapers and smoke cigars and plot to overturn the world.” – professor, on country clubs

“You know the feeling.  You’ve done a lot of work and you didn’t have enough sleep and you’re probably going to die.” – professor

“If you go to a meeting to plot the end of the United States, turn off your phone.” – professor, on the location-finding devices in smartphones

“You know how different communities have different radars, like Gaydar?  I have Mormondar.  I can spot Mormons.” – Mormon professor

“If you make enough up and downs, it eventually makes ‘communism.'” – professor, writing “communism” in cursive.

“Basically, we just call these credit card companies today.  Or student loan companies.” – professor, on the company-owned homes and stores of the Industrial Revolution

“This is why bats and flying reptiles … what’s a flying reptile? … pterodactyls … and birds all look the same.” – professor, on the similarities of flying creatures and evolution

+ homemade.  I made homemade honey butter on Saturday.

+ thai.  Alan made Phat Thai with chicken and plum sauce, a chicken coconut soup and eggs for dinner on Saturday.  It was pretty much amazing.

+ sony dcr-hc36.  If you happen to be in need of one of those, I’m selling one for $200 (it comes in the original box, with the lens cap, stereo AV adapter, AC adapter, remote control, USB cable, battery pack and CD-ROM with USB driver).  I bought it a few years ago, because my parents rewarded my sister and me for earning our black belts.  I chose a lovely barrel top writing desk.  My sister chose a camcorder.  Which I wanted, because I was preparing to spend a summer abroad and wanted to record my adventures (the amount of recording is obvious in the fact that some of the accessories have never even been taken out of the box).  Well, I’ve decided to sell my barely-used camcorder in the hopes of covering some costs that my senior honors thesis is going to incur (namely, travel, equipment upgrade and the care packages I’ve promised to the people who will help me).  Therefore, if you happen to want a like-new camcorder with the original packaging and everything else (except, ironically, the user  manual, which is downloadable), let me know.  It would be your contribution to my graduation with College Honors and Departmental Distinction (in both history and communications, if I do this properly).  And I know you want to help me want a semi-new camcorder.

+ ten.  There are ten days of class (including today) and one week of finals left this semester.  I only have one in-class final (that I know of), so I’ll pack up everything on Friday, drive two hours and twenty minutes to campus, take my final and drive two hours and twenty minutes home.  And then I will officially be a senior!

Which means I only have one more year of classes, assignments and exams before the real world + marriage + my first major move (aside from that kind of sort of really major one that happened about 21 years ago).

When did that happen?  And yes, I fully intend to act surprised at how swiftly graduation is approaching at every possible moment.

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Finish.  The difference between being a writer and being a person of talent is the discipline it takes to apply the seat of your pants to the seat of your chair and finish.  Don’t talk about it.  Do it.  Finish. – E. L. Konigsburg

 

A ship is safe in harbour, but that’s not what ships are for. – William Shed

 

An author in his book must be like God in the universe, present everywhere and visible nowhere. – Gustave Flaubert

 

Don’t tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass. – Anton Chekov

 

If I lose the light of the sun, I will write by candlelight, moonlight, no light.  If I lose paper and ink, I will write in blood on forgotten walls.  I will write always.  I will capture nights all over the world and bring them to you. – Henry Rollins

Miscellany Monday @ lowercase letters

+ srsly? Dear Army, I am frustrated with you.

+ quotables. My professor, who is Mormon, explained why he loves going to his wife’s (Lutheran) church.  “We read this thing and think about our sins for a little while — not too long, because that would be uncomfortable — and the preacher says, ‘As a called and ordained minister, I pronounce your sins forgiven.’ Ahhhhh.”  At that point, my professor started doing the whole spirit fingers thing.
“I’m being flippant, but I’m flippant about everyone — including those weird Mormons.” – Mormon professor
“Someone wrote on this with the wrong kind of chalk!” – medieval history professor, referring to permanent marker on a white board

+ lifetouch. My church (which will henceforth be referred to as “AG,” as opposed to the Baptist church Alan attends) hired Lifetouch photographers to take photos for the church directory.  Not only did the photographer try too hard (asking us to say such phrases as “The photographer’s a genius” — I never understood why photographers tell their subjects to talk while taking a photo), but he was completely unorganized and seemed to have no sense of direction.  He was also about 15 minutes late in setting up our session, even though everyone was required to schedule sessions (and I would imagine that scheduling is supposed to eliminate or reduce such inconveniences). He also pushed the photos a bit hard — I understand that he’s trying to sell his product, but no one is going to buy if the quality is poor. He took a few photos of Alan and me, and I wasn’t particularly fond of them (granted, I dislike having my photo taken by anyone, at any time), but we decided to purchase a few (and even after that he kept asking Alan if that was all he wanted). I was incredibly tempted to say, “No, thank you. We’ll just take the eight by ten because we’ve already hired a professional photographer to take our engagement photos.”

+ friends. On Friday evening, I met some friends at a local restaurant/bar.  I’ve never been to a bar before (minus the pubs in England, which were far classier and cooler than anything here … since I obviously have several years of experience backing that statement), but it was the lamest bar scene I’ve ever seen.  I was pretty sure some of those guys have been hanging out there since high school graduation. …  There’s also nothing like spending time with people who know you incredibly well because you spent at least 180 days a year together for 12 years.
There was the time I saw an Asian woman with her adorable little son and told my friends, “I want a cute little Asian baby!” to which they responded, “Bets, you can make one.”  That was at least four or five years ago.  And they still, to this day, remember that.
One of my friends offered me a sip of her drink, but I told her I couldn’t because I still had “twelve, four, minus eight days” until my twenty-first (the clock said March 4, my birthday is March 12 and in my head, I was saying “twelve minus four, eight days”).  Obviously, doing math in my head while looking at a clock and simultaneously speaking does not work well.
When more friends arrived, we moved to a larger table.  One of my friends sat a mostly empty glass on the larger table, and I asked what it was.  She replied, “Ben’s beer,” after which I asked what kind of beer that was … not realizing she meant that the beer had been purchased by Ben.  I earned a, “Bets, I don’t understand how you’re not blond” comment after that.

+ california. Alan and I are flying out to California to visit his family in May.  I’ve never been west of Detroit, so I’m excited to travel farther, to meet his family and to visit the beach (not in that order, because I was really worried I wouldn’t have an opportunity to meet the rest of his family before the wedding).
Remember when Real California Milk launched the campaign about cows auditioning to become the next happy cow?  I watched all of the videos and have to admit that I picked up a habit of saying, “California, California, hey!” when I’m in the dairy aisle of the grocery store.  I would also like to mention that I only say that when no one is around or when I don’t know anyone.

+ scary. I added this at 9:35 p.m. on Sunday evening.  It was sleeting when Alan and I left the house this afternoon, heading in opposite directions of the state.  It eventually knocked out the power at home, but turned to unrelenting rain the further south I drove.  My sister called around 9:20 to ask if I had heard from Alan, because he had not returned from dropping off the boys and my parents wanted to know if he went to church.  I think my heart stopped.  I didn’t think he had gone to church because of the weather, and I assumed he had simply gone home.  I sent text messages to Alan’s phone (hoping he was just at church, because I didn’t want to call), hoping that he was all right and but ready to sprint to the Jeep if I had to drive home.  He called me a few minutes later to let me know that he was all right, in spite of swerving off the road to avoid a car in his lane, having to be towed to church and then being stuck there because the church is on a hill and people couldn’t control their vehicles well enough to leave.
He’s now slowly on his way home, stuck behind the slow-moving plows, and my blood pressure is slowly returning to normal.  I’m ecstatic that he’s safe and angry that he scared me, even though it obviously wasn’t his fault.  Let’s never do this again.  Major props to the wives of deployed service members.